Fearlessly Facing Transition

Some people actually like change and welcome it with open arms.  Most people don’t love it but recognize change as inevitable and adapt pretty well.  But there are some who struggle to keep up with change and don’t easily transition to new ways of thinking or doing things.  For these people, change can be stressful, leaving them exhausted and overwhelmed.  Children who have other challenges such as Attention Deficit Disorder, Anxiety or Depression often have an especially difficult time with change.  Children struggling with change sometimes have increased irritability, more emotional or behavioral outbursts, increased anxiety or just don’t seem like themselves.  If you are seeing some of these signs in your child there are some things you can do to help. 

Here are some tips:

Listen, Listen, Listen.  First, spend some extra time listening to your child to try to understand his/her concerns and fears about the change.  Maybe try some problem solving to address simple issues.

Honor Feelings.  Your child may be feeling nervous, scared or even sad about the change.  Acknowledge the feelings and let him/her know its ok (even normal) to feel that way.

Gradual Exposure.  Provide opportunities for your child to learn about the new person/place in their life.  Drive by the outside of the new school/house then visit the inside; arrange a play date with a new classmate, etc.

Time, Time, Time.  Give your child lots of notice about upcoming changes and understand that it may take time for your child to adjust.  Let him/her ask questions and talk about it as much as they want.

Consistency.  Kids need predictability to feel secure.  Try to maintain a consistent schedule and routine as much as possible in other areas so it doesn’t feel like everything is changing at once.

Positive Thinking.  Remind your child of new things they have tried before that turned out great and express confidence s/he can handle this change, even if it is hard.

Choices.  Give age-appropriate choices whenever possible.  This will give your child a sense of control and responsibility and s/he will feel less helpless about the non-negotiable transition.

Practice these tips to help your kids fearlessly face tough transitions.  If you try all these tips and your child is still struggling, it may be time for professional help.  Call me for a free phone consultation or to set up an appointment.